one hundred.

It’s easy if you try hard enough. Just take one leap, one hundred feet plunging. One hundred hands pulling you down. One hundred feelings of liberation. Inhale, exhale, the rhythmic pulse a hundred times quicker. Adrenaline, windswept locks, half crested smile. One hundred ways to do it, but you chose this. One leap. It’s the only way you tell yourself. Total and utter liberation. Sense? Yes, liberation; you keep telling yourself. A hundred voices whisper, a million thoughts running. Goodbye. Shut up, shut up, shut up. It’s the only way. You take the plunge, one hundred feet. Oh, how brave. It’s the only way. You close your eyes, a hundred flashes. The shutters slowly closing in on you. And then the inevitable – silence. Liberation.

2.16 am

Sometimes
You wished, you wished;
ugly hollow contrived being

In a crowd –
faces overlook
with disdain

Monotony speaks:
fade, fade, fade away
spill, spill into the cracks.

If only, if only –
but nonetheless
it continues.

In silent dreams,
the knives are sharp
but not sharp enough.

Ripped muscle
torn out of shattered rib bones
broken.

Sitting, staring –
Sounds wavering, voices distant;
People passing.

Momentarily;
It stands still.

It starts again.
A
Coin
Drops
Beckoning, beckoning –
She looks up.
He looks down.

Someone wise once said,
“Life is a probability dysfunction.”